Bumblebee Is Just A Lesbian Oedipus Complex
by Troumvirate
Summary: It's time to face the harsh truth. You'd better grab a Snickers. You're not you when you're hungry.


Yang had been riding Bumblebee for a long time now. For nearly four whole volumes, Bumblebee had been one of her few defining features. Her trusty motorcycle had gone with her everywhere. Bumblebee had accompanied her on a ship where it had no place being. It had brought her all the way from Patch to Mistral. But it was time to get off Bumblebee. It was time to face the truth.

It was time to face her mother.

Standing in the bandit camp, Yang looked at the big tent where she knew her mother was. The woman came out, and descended the steps to face her crippled daughter.

"Yang Xiao Long," she greeted. "We meet again at last. It's been over two whole volumes since we last met. I was beginning to think that the entire plot point was going to lead nowhere."

"Indeed, mom. The fact that you saved me on a train seemed awfully convenient, and the dream sequence following the credits merely raised more questions than it gave answers. I'm so happy we're finally going to reach a conclusion and get closure on the issues that are at the very core of my character."

"Then ask away, daughter of mine! Any question you have of me, such as how I fell in love with your father, why I had sex with him and gave birth to you, why I abandoned you, or why I value my tribe of bandit hicks more than you! Ask any of them and I shall answer you here and now! After volumes of buildup regarding your abandonment issues, we have finally reached the payoff!"

"Very well, mother. I have but one question for you! Will-"

 _"Yang?"_ a familiar voice shouted. _"Yang is that you?"_

"Who's that?"

"It's just one of the prisoners," Raven casually dismissed. "Ignore her."

"Oh. Okay."

 _"Yang if that's you, can you rescue me when you're done with your mother? I'm standing like 20 feet away and can hear everything you're saying. I'd have to be a complete fucking moron to not recognize your voice."_

Yang was growing annoyed with the interruptions, her hair threatening to erupt in a firestorm which would be a visual representation of just how much of a flamer she was. "Can we just go inside your tent and talk? We need some privacy."

"Very well. Follow me, my child."

So Raven and Yang went inside the tent. Compared to her home back on Patch, this place was a dump. Why had Raven chosen to abandon civilization and live here? Why couldn't she have stayed and been a loving mother? Truly these were questions which Yang would never get a chance to ask.

"So? What did you want to talk about?" Raven asked.

Yang shifted uncomfortably, looking away. "It's about... this girl I like."

"Ooooh? Teenage romantic angst? In my action-adventure western anime? This sounds like it could be stupidly dramatic and devastating to the entire show and fanbase!"

"Indeed," Yang indeeded. "You see, there's a girl I like. She's beautiful. She has this long black hair."

"She certainly sounds appealing," Raven agreed, running a hand through her own hair.

"She's snarky and sarcastic. Kind of brooding. But underneath it all, there's just something about her people can't help but like. I don't really know why I like all these traits about her considering that they're all negative, but I've decided to anyway."

"I've always thought that nice girls were stupid as well."

"And... you see, at the very core of her character, this girl is a coward. She runs away from her problems, blames everyone else for her shortcomings, and even abandoned me when I was most vulnerable. And despite all of this, despite the fact that I should hate her for what she's done, I can't help but love her. This is the person I'm meant to be with. Tumblr and reddit told me so."

"Ah," Raven said, finally understanding. "You're talking about Blake Belladonna, aren't you?"

Yang shook her head. "No. I'm talking about you." Yang leaned over and kissed Raven's lips.

Raven sputtered, falling back and away from the kiss of her daughter. "Yang, I know that I said that this is a tribe of hicks, but even we don't do that sort of thing here!"

"I don't care, mom. I love you. Every feeling I ever had for Blake was secretly just the feelings I had for you. You're the exact same character, and I've just been projecting my lesbian Oedipus Complex onto her. But you're the one that I love, mom. You and only you."

Yang crawled over to where Raven sat and straddled her hips. She grabbed a handful of momtit in her robot hand. "See? This is what I want. Like mother, like daughter. Blake doesn't have tits like you."

Yang leaned in again and began kissing Raven's neck. "Yang... this isn't right! I'm your mother!"

"I was already inside your pussy once," Yang told her. "Let me go in there again... for old time's sake. We have to make up for 18 years of lost time."

"Since I'm such a coward I will agree to anything you say without putting up a fight. Look out, Relic of Knowledge. Imma abandon you next!"

So Yang and Raven had hot incestuous sex, and the fandom cheered. They fucked long into the night. Everyone around the camp heard it and was distracted from their normal jobs. As a result Weiss didn't get her dog bowl of water for the evening.

Now that they were a happy family again, when everyone met at The House in Mistral they were easily able to see through and thwart the villain's retarded plans simply by not being complete retards themselves. But since the good guys won anyway and no one died in canon, nothing changed.

Oh, except for Cinder. Yeah she still died. But no one cares about her anyway.

The end.


End file.
